"While love is universal, every couple is unique."
— What’s Your Number (via daffattack2314)
Okay lang ako!
Somebody once told me and I quote:
“Mahirap pa lang maging ikaw…”
I asked her back, “What do you mean?”
She replied:
“Kasi mahirap yung puro okay ka lang ng okay…”
I don’t know why… But I tend to keep on saying, “Okay lang ako”…
I am used to take the fall, a shock-absorber, you could say… Sometimes, I just wanna quit doing that… I tell myself, “Go Gen, it’s your cake so go indulge and eat it up to the last bite.” But if ever I am put into the actual situation, I will give way for somebody else’s sake in a heartbeat
As a consolation, I’ll just let out a heavy sigh and say, “Gen, you know you can’t be happy at the expense of others…”
“Taga-ako” is the part that I am destined to play in this great effin’ life…
It’s like I’m a gynecoid programmed to say “Ako na lang… Ayos lang yan… Ako bahala…”
But then again, I am no gynecoid… And I get tired too, in case the world doesn’t notice…
I am waitng for that “era” when I could finally say “shutting down in 5…4…3…2…1… all systems go…”
Wait, “all systems go” means “okay lang” right?
There I go again!
Blah!
Right now, I am in the state of sadness from the simultaneous events that f*cked my life real great. I wont elaborate those things anymore because doing so will just highlight everything, thus making me feel more sad, which defeats the purpose why I am exhaling my feelings out…
I’d like to believe that I am way too strong for these negative things to successfully falter me down. I have already been through a lot, but I have survived it all… And I’m sure that I am still capable of surviving this one.
Well yes, there is no use crying over all these f*ckers because it wont do me any good and it will just prove how really weak and vulnerable I could be — I just can’t allow that to happen. My strength is my last shield of defense, if it breaks down, I’ll turn into dust powder.
If things will eventually fall into places, they just will —sooner or later…
But if life doesn’t mind, I’d prefer it sooner.
I just hope and pray that at the end of all these, there’s a pleasant surprise waiting for me…
%^$$$&%! It really sucks to be mature… I could really use a hug right now.
A Carnival Ride
…that’s what my life is.
As much as I spurn it, I inadvertently keep on running in circles, trapped with the same faceless people, dealing with the same anthologies of each other’s pathetic lives.
It’s like we are stuck in this carnival merry go-round with exquisite pink unicorns, iridescent lights, lullaby music, and echoing laughter. It is all nice, all fancy, all so perfect….
But after riding on it for almost like forever, it becomes undeniably nauseating.. It never stops spinning that it makes my stomach hurl in dizziness. It’s just not fun anymore.
But I refuse to think that way because by the dictates of the carnival life, merry go-rounds are fun, they are good for kids, they are safe.. Same as what the dictates of life tells me about my current situation.
But just when I thought I’m already satisfied with this little play of ours, I suddenly found myself yearning for a sweet escape.
^%^$%%&#@, now I’m right back where I started.
“In the grand history of the cosmos, more than thirteen thousand million years old, our Earth is replicated elsewhere. There’s another ‘you’ out there. Now you begin to wonder ‘Has the other me made the same mistakes I’ve made? And is that me better than…this me?’.”
"The greatest battle is not physical but psychological. The demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quiet the steady dignity that simply refuses to give in. Courage. We all suffer. Keep going."
— Graeme Fife (via bright-blue-eyes)
"If you left the Church to get away from hypocritical people, you should also quit your job, drop out of school, disconnect yourself from all your friends and family, and lock yourself in your room while you’re at it. There will be flaws wherever there are humans. And, in fact, the Church is the only establishment on earth with the solution for this issue."
— Mattie Montgomery (via isthatasockfullofbuttah)
Self-wreckage.
I’ve been such a wreck for the past few weeks and I’m really not proud of what I’ve become. I do things that are not allowed, I say words that are inappropriate, and I entertain bad thoughts in my head… It’s like my goody-two-shoes version just stormed out the door and my evil twin sister went in to take my place…
I know that I’m not being a good role model to my younger siblings and my dad isn’t my #1 fan right now, but I have no idea how to turn back things the way they used to be. The mess is already too big to be fixed…
I feel like a pretentious bitch and I’m just a minute away from despising myself! Oh God, I miss the old Geneva. Can someone help me to pull myself back together?
Allison Harvard will always be at the top of my girl crushes.. I could stare at her beautiful big doe eyes forever!
